Why I don’t like conspiracy theorists.

1) They’re all tools of the Illuminati.

2) They cling to an absurd conviction that someone actually knows what’s going on.

3) They also cling to an even more absurd conviction that they’d be told what’s going on if anyone knew.

4) They are too weak minded to face up to science fiction and fantasy.

5) They’re boring, self involved, not too bright and in many cases lack personal hygiene.

6) They waste social bandwidth and polarize any conversations into those who know the ‘truth’ and those who are simple minded dupes.

7) Did I mention self-righteousness?

8) They focus valuable paranoia on the past, which we can’t change, rather than on the present and future, where it might actually be useful.

The above has been authorized by the Secret Masters (c)

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